I used to categorise these, but it's a horrible many-to-many problem which just doesn't map to any web page structure I can think of. So they're officially organised into a hodge-podge1) now. I'll try to avoid duplications, let me know if you find any.
I nver thought before that you had to say to people, “You've got to make your numbers, and by the way, don't forget not to violate the law” (the somewhat exasperated former CEO of a large international investment bank)
Experience is the ability to recognise a mistake when you make it again.
With four parameters I can fit an elephant, and with five I can make him wiggle his trunk. (John von Neumann)
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living; the world owes you nothing; it was here first. (Mark Twain)
..It was a high counsel that I once heard given to a young person, “Always do what you are afraid to do.” (Ralph Waldo Emerson)
I expect to pass through this world but once;
any good thing therefore that I can do,
or any kindness that I can show to any fellow-creature,
let me do it now; let me not defer or neglect it,
for I shall not pass this way again.
The price of achievement is toil and the gods have ruled that payment is in advance. (WBS)
It is the mood of the beholder which gives the city of Zemrude its form. If you go by whistling, your nose a-tilt behind the whistle, you will know it from below: window sills, flapping curtains, fountains. If you walk along hanging your head, your nails dug into the palms of your hands, your gaze will be held on the ground, in the gutters, the manhole covers, the fish scales, wastepaper. You cannot say that one aspect of the city is truer than the other, but you hear of the upper Zemrude chiefly from those who remember it, as they sink into the lower Zemrude, following every day the same stretches of street and finding again each morning the ill-humour of the day before, encrusted at the foot of the walls. For everyone, sooner or later, the day comes when we bring our gaze down along the drainpipes and we can no longer detach it from the cobbtlestones. The reverse is not impossible, but it is more rare: and so we continue walking through Zemrude's streets with eyes now digging into the cellars, the foundations, the wells. (Italo Calvino. Invisible Cities)
Security requires a particular mindset. Security professionals – at least the good ones – see the world differently. They can't walk into a store without noticing how they might shoplift. They can't use a computer without wondering about the security vulnerabilities. They can't vote without trying to figure out how to vote twice. They just can't help it. [Take SmartWater.] SmartWater is a liquid with a unique identifier linked to a particular owner. “The idea is for me to paint this stuff on my valuables as proof of ownership,” I wrote when I first learned about the idea. “I think a better idea would be for me to paint it on your valuables, and then call the police.” (Bruce Schneir, Cryptogram)
…but was restrained by the lifelong trust he had placed in the wisdom and justice of an immortal, omnipotent, omniscient, human, universal, anthropomorphic, English-speaking, Anglo-Saxon pro-American God. (Joseph Heller, Catch-22)
Vigourous writing is concise. A sentence should contain no unnecessary words, a paragraph no unnecessary sentences, for the same reason that a drawing should have no unnecessary lines and a machine no unnecessary parts. This requires not that the writer make all sentences short or avoid all detail and treat subjects only in outline, but that every word tell. (Strunk, Elements of Style)
Ars longa, vita brevis, occasio praeceps, experimentum periculosum, iudicium difficile.
Go is to chess what philosophy is to double entry accounting.
Boxing is a lot like ballet, except that they don't dance, there isn't any music, and they hit each other.
Dancing is the perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire
Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. (Calvin Coolidge)
Almost nobody dances sober, unless they happen to be insane.
Experience is the ability to recognise a mistake when you make it again.
A distributed system is one in which the failure of a computer you didn't even know existed can render your own computer unusable. (Leslie Lamport)
No one can see beyond a choice they don't understand. (The Oracle/Matrix)
After all, there is no decree of nature or law or tradition to prevent any one person from mastering more than one art. (Cicero, De Oratore, i.216)
Put to scale, the head of a disk drive is like a 747 jumbo jet flying at mach 4 at an altitude of 1/4” over the rocky mountains.
Ready. Fire. Aim. (Anonymous Cadburys Exec.)
Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want
What's left to do after your life exceeds your dreams? (Cindy Walsh)
Yes, I am a dreamer. For a dreamer is one who can find his way by moonlight, and sees the dawn before the rest of the world. (Oscar Wilde)
We are all in the gutter. But some of us are looking at the stars. (Oscar Wilde)
The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams. (Eleanor Roosevelt)
Most people are born and years later die without really having lived at all. They play it safe and tiptoe through life with no aspiration other than to arrive at death safely. (Tony Campolo)
The most dangerous thing in the world is to try to leap a chasm in two jumps. (William Lloyd George)
Don't try to achieve things in just one jump. Instead resolve to take that tiny next step, and then renew your resolve.
If you follow in someone else’s footprints you leave no trail of your own.
Ships are safe in harbor, but they were never meant to stay there. (John Shedd)
The Earth is the cradle of mankind, but a man cannot stay in the cradle forever. (Immanuel Velikovsky)
We all have two choices: We can make a living or we can design a life. (Jim Rohn)
The measure of your success is not whether you face a tough problem - it's whether you face the same one this year as last year.
Life is change. Growth is optional. Choose wisely. (Karen Kaiser Clark)
I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be. (Douglas Adams)
A man who wants to lead the orchestra must turn his back on the crowd. (James Crook)
We are often more fearful than we should be, but we can be braver than we imagine.
The difficult of a problem matters not. It is your determination that counts for all.
You want to double your results? Then see tomorrows prospects today, next years prospects this year.
Live Now / Die Later
Luck is a dividend of sweat. The more you sweat, the luckier you get. (Ray Kroc)
If there is no wind, row.
Do not have your feet firmly on the ground. You are faster than you think. (Nike slogan)
Dealing with failure is easy: Work hard to improve. Success is also easy to handle: You've solved the wrong problem. Work hard to improve. (Alan Perlis)
If you don't make mistakes, you're not working on hard-enough problems. And that's a big mistake. (F. Wikzek)
In the game of life it's a good idea to have a few early losses, which relieves you of the pressure of trying to maintain an undefeated season. (Bill Vaughan)
We are all failures - at least, all the best of us are. (J. M. Barrie)
It is better to have enough ideas for some of them to be wrong, than to be always right by having no ideas at all. (Edward de Bono)
Good people are good because they've come to wisdom through failure. We get very little wisdom from success, you know. (William Saroyan)
The gem cannot be polished without friction, nor man perfected without trials.
He who makes no mistakes never makes anything. (English Proverb)
He who has the power to destroy a thing has the ultimate control of that thing. (paraphrased from Dune (Frank Herbert))
There is no escape - we pay for the violence of our ancestors. (from “The Collected Sayings of Muad'Dib”, by Princess Irulan (Frank Herbert))
What do you despise? By this you are truly known. (from the “Manual of Muad'Dib” by Princess Irulan (Frank Herbert))
Subtlety and self-control were, after all, the most deadly threats to us all. (“In my Father's House”, by Princess Irulan (Frank Herbert))
And always he fought the temptation to choose a clear, safe course, warning “That path leads ever downwards into stagnation.” (“Arrakis Awakening”, by Princess Irulan (Frank Herbert))
A program should follow the `Law of Least Astonishment'. What is this law? It is simply that the program should always respond to the user in the way that astonishes him least. (The Tao of Programming)
Friends don't let friends drink and su(1). (Kevin Harris)
People say Pandora's Box was evil, but they're wrong. The stuff inside it was evil. The box ain't nothin' but a box. (Fundamental Premise of OOD)
Thermodynamics: you can't win, you can't even break even, and you can't get out of the game.
computer science n. [Origin: possibly Prof. P. B. Fellgett's rhetorical question, “Is computer science?”] A study akin to numerology and astrology, but lacking the precision of the former and the success of the latter.
I'm not against reinventing the wheel, but it's best if you have some experience before you do that, otherwise you'll end up with a triangular shaped rock.
People understand instinctively that the best way for computer programs to communicate with each other is for each of the them to be strict in what they emit, and liberal in what they accept. The odd thing is that people themselves are not willing to be strict in how they speak and liberal in how they listen. You'd think that would also be obvious. Instead, we're taught to express ourselves. (Larry Wall)
Intelligence: Finding an error in a Knuth text.
Stupidity: Cashing that $2.56 check you got.
As they say, the first 95% of a software project takes 95% of the time.
And the remaining 5% of the project takes another 95% of the time.
256 Terabytes should be enough for anyone. (W. Gates IV, 2032, from The 776 Stupidest Things Ever Said, Vol. 32, 2099)
This movie has us believe that raptors aren’t just intelligent, they’re super intelligent - smarter than primates - even smarter than Sam Neill! (Definitely smarter than the screenwriters.) Weren’t they just “clever” in the first movie? Now they all gather and confer before killing someone. At this rate, by JP4 they’ll all be using Debian Linux, wearing monocles and twirling mustaches: “Well, Dr. Grant, we meet again. You shan’t escape me a third time!” (JBowz15, on Jurassic Park III)
Quick, Cheap or Good. Choose Two.
Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin. (John von Neumann)
(In response to news that Microsoft is trying to get virii writers seen as “industrial terrorists”): So now, in addition to “industrial espionage” (which has somehow entered the common lexicon), we will have “industrial terrorism”? What's next? Industrial Treason? Industrial Murder? Disturbing the Industrial Peace? (Anonymous)
In most Microsoft EULAs, it states you can't give the software to nations or individuals involved in making atomic, bacteriological, or chemical weapons. Do they mean besides the US? (Anonymous)
Microsoft: That vulnerability is completely theoretical.
l0pht: Making the theoretical practical since 19XX.
I am a Norman. It is the custom of my people to invade and conquer others, to seize their land, to suppress their culture, and to impose our aristocratic rule. My people have been doing this for more than one thousand years. By the principle of cultural relativism, this way of life is just as valid as any other. (Brett Evill)
You stop having issues when you die. (Andy Stock)
It is not necessary to change. Survival is not mandatory. (W. Edwards Deming)
Be what you want to be. If you want to be happy, act happy. If you want to be in love, act in love. Emotion does not cause action. Action causes emotion.
I'm a philosophy major. That means I can think deep thoughts about being unemployed. (Bruce Lee)
There's no such thing as bad weather, only bad clothing. (Norwegian saying)
To refrain from imitation is the best revenge. (Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 6:6)
Not 'This is a misfortune', but 'To bear this worthily is good fortune.' (Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 4:49)
This email best viewed in 80 by 24 or larger using a fixed width font.
bootslapping, v: The progressively harsher physical beating of a piece of equipment, until it finally relents and begins to function.
There are 10 types of people in this world: Those who can count in binary, and those who can't. (ThinkGeek.com)
War does not determine who is right - only who is left. (Bertrand Russell)
Patriotism is the willingness to kill and be killed for trivial reasons. (Bertrand Russell)
I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong. (Bertrand Russell)
There are no nations! There is only humanity. And if we don't come to understand that right soon, there will be no nations, because there will be no humanity. (Isaac Asimov “I Asimov: A Memoir”)
Violence is the last resort of the incompetent. (Isaac Asimov)
An eye for eye only ends up making the whole world blind. (Mahatma Gandhi)
I don't know with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones. (Albert Einstein)
The history of the sword is the history of humanity. (Richard Burton)
The only thing more terrible than a battle won, is a battle lost. (Napoleon)
The myth of unlimited production brings war in its train as inevitably as clouds announce a storm. (Albert Camus)
All modern revolutions have ended in a reinforcement of the power of the State. (Albert Camus)
The hand of man can hold the universe in its palm, if only it can learn to unclench its fist. (Game Manual, Dark Reign)
A patriot must always be ready to defend his country against his government. (Edward Abbey)
Patriotism is often an arbitrary veneration of real estate above principles. (George Jean Nathan)
The fact that slaughter [battle] is a horrifying spectacle must make us take war more seriously, but [it does] not provide an excuse for gradually blunting our swords in the name of humanity. Sooner or later someone will come along with a sharp sword and hack off our arms. (Carl von Clausewitz)
If we eliminate intellectual property, intellectuals will have no property. Where have we seen that before? (Spur)
If I had wanted your website to make noise I would have licked my finger and rubbed it across the monitor. (Spur)
This has been a test of the EBS. In the event of an actual emergency, you'd be buried under a heap of smoking rubble. (Spur)
It's possible to do that. If you've got a basket with 3 oranges in it and you take 5 out, then you have to put 2 oranges in again in order for it to be empty. (Peter Gutmann)
You think because you understand one you must understand two. Because one and one make two. But you must also understand and.
The basic tool for the manipulation of reality is the manipulation of words. If you can control the meaning of words, you can control the people who must use the words. (Philip K. Dick)
A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices. (William James)
To ensure the adoration of a theorem for any length of time, faith is not enough; a police force is needed as well. (Albert Camus)
The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes. (Marcel Proust)
The mind has exactly the same power as that of the hands; not merely to grasp the world, but to change it. (Colin Wilson)
A lie told often enough becomes truth. (Lenin)
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. But the opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth. (Niels Bohr)
Two plus two equals five for sufficiently large values of two.
Two is not equal to three, not even for large values of two. (Grabel's Law.)
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away. (Philip K. Dick)
History repeats itself [because] historians repeat each other. (Philip Guedella)
Your true target is your enemies Mind. (Sun Tzu)
Hence to fight and conquer in all your battles is not supreme excellence; supreme excellence consists in breaking the enemy's resistance without fighting. (Sun Tzu)
All empires fall, you just have to know where to push. (Game manual, Dark Reign I)
Only through absolute uniformity of purpose can victory be achieved, heroism on the battlefield is as dangerous as cowardice. (Game manual, Dark Reign I)
Every program has at least one bug and can be shortened by at least one instruction - from which, by induction, one can deduce that every program can be reduced to one instruction which doesn't work.
You cannot help the poor by being poor.
Intelligence is the habit of using a skill. No more, no less.
Why you should stay the hell away from C++:
nextGen.push_back( (this→*o.GetRandomElement())() );
<Patrician|Away> what does your robot do, sam
<bovril> it collects data about the surrounding environment, then discards it and drives into walls
(morganj): 0 is false and 1 is true, correct?
(alec_eso): 1, morganj
(morganj): bastard.
An abstract is an advertisement. (Pondy)
Certain of my opponents claim to think that not-p; but it is precisely my thesis that they do not. Therefore p. (P. Churchland)
The folk think that not-p. But I just called them “the folk”. Therefore p. (Frank Jackson)
It's possible to do that. If you've got a basket with 3 oranges in it and you take 5 out, then you have to put 2 oranges in again in order for it to be empty. (Peter Gutmann)
Everything will be OK in the end. If it's not OK it's not the end.
/* In desperate need of type inference… */
private Vector<HMIterTokenRep<Entry<K, V, ogj.This>, ogj.This, ogj.This>, ogj.This, ogj.This> iteratorTokens = new Vector<HMIterTokenRep<Entry, K, V, ogj.This>, ogj.This, ogj.This>, ogj.This, ogj.This>();
Sir Humphrey: “Bernard, Ministers should never know more than they need to know. Then they can't tell anyone. Like secret agents, they could be captured and tortured.”
Bernard: “You mean by terrorists?”
Sir Humphrey: “By the BBC, Bernard.”
If everything seems under control, you're not going fast enough (Mario Andretti)
Religion is to philosophy as masturbation is to sex (Karl Marx)
Remember, only two industries refer to their customers as users.
The familiar dot (.) symbol from Internet addresses shall be used on this website to denote the end of a sentence.
All models are wrong; Some are useful.
For every complex problem, there exists a simple solution, which is wrong.
Corollary: It isn't rocket science. Well, unless of course you're NASA.
On two occasions I have been asked [by members of Parliament], 'Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the right answers come out?' I am not able rightly to apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question. (Charles Babbage)
The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents. (Nathaniel Borenstein)
The primary purpose of the DATA statement is to give names to constants; instead of referring to pi as 3.141592653589793 at every appearance, the variable PI can be given that value with a DATA statement and used instead of the longer form of the constant. This also simplifies modifying the program, should the value of pi change. (FORTRAN manual for Xerox Computers)
The key to understanding recursion is to begin by understanding recursion. The rest is easy. (Koenig/Moo, Accelerated C++)
The C language combines all the power of assembly language with all the ease-of-use of assembly language.
Management dictated that no bugs should ever make it to production. We no longer put code in production.
If it's less than six pages, I'll read it. If it's more than six inches thick, I can use it as a doorstop. Anything in between is useless.
Remember that there is no code faster than no code. (Taligent's Guide to Designing Programs)
Python: executable pseudocode. Perl: executable line noise.
C++ : an octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog.
Computer Science is the only discipline in which we view adding a new wing to a building as being maintenance (Jim Horning)
Objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories: those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost. (Russell Baker)
Posner: Does she like you?
Dakin: Course she likes me.
Posner: Then you're not disputing the territory. You're just negotiating over the pace of the occupation…
(The History Boys)
We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it. (Marge Simpson)
To light a candle is to cast a shadow (A Wizard of Earthsea, Ursula Le Guin)
War without France would be like … World War II.
History was a trash bag of random coincidences torn open in a wind. Surely, Watt with his steam engine, Faraday with his electric motor, and Edison with his incandescent light bulb did not have it as their goal to contribute to a fuel shortage some day that would place their countries at the mercy of Arab oil. (Joseph Heller, Good as Gold)